Where did the rest of 2019 go, y’all?
For some reason, life seems to be moving faster when you’re older. I certainly find myself constantly wishing I had more time to do things, everyday.
It feels like whenever the next day rolls in, the day before evaporates into a hazy memory.
And before you know it, you’re at the end of another year thinking, “Wait, what happened this year again?”
Can you guys relate?
During my recent trip to Indonesia, I stayed at my mother’s house where I used to live as a teenager.
I was going through my brother’s stuff (because I am nosy) and found a box full of memorabilia collected in my younger years.
Photos of me and my college friends, a photo from my 7th birthday party, a student ID from the college I went to in Sydney, Australia — I mean, I basically found the makings of my youth!
It was surreal, fun, and to be honest…Somewhat sad.
It felt like I was looking at someone else’s life and dreams. These objects of nostalgic significance got me wondering, “Was this my life?” — because it all felt familiar, yet foreign at the same time.
I found an old badge from a TV station I interned for and got reminded of my long-lost dream of working in the broadcasting industry.
I found my film books from the time I was at the NYU summer program and thought about my undying love for filmmaking and how I wish I was in New York making a movie right now.
I found the trophy I got from singing when I was 11 years old and wondered, “I used to sing?! Whatever happened to that?”
I stopped singing 15 years ago because of the crippling anxiety I used to and still feel at the thought of people staring at me.
When you’ve moved around a lot your whole life, you’re used to the idea of leaving your dreams behind along with pieces of yourself.
I feel like I am this whole different person, living a foreign land with people who know only chunks of my story and nobody knows me fully.
The earlier part of my life has dissolved into a dream that I have had to wake up from and…
I guess, this is real life?
“Gone, like Frank Sinatra
Like Elvis and his mom
Like Al Pacino’s cash nothing lasts in this life
My high school dreams are gone
My childhood sweets are gone
Life is a day that doesn’t last for long”
– Gone by Switchfoot