She was a Rainbow.

She was a Rainbow.

It’s crazy to think of how long I have been hiding in the shadow of self-doubt. For some reason, the thoughts and feelings of not being enough have become a security blanket that I often resort to, when the unknown terrifies me.

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To be honest, it’s often easier to blame my so-called inadequacy than to take risks and make mistakes in life. I never wanted to make a fool of myself, be vulnerable and look bad/ugly/silly/stupid in front of other people. I’ve always wanted to stay cool because I care so much about what people think of me and how they see me.

So much so that I bend and try to fit into the molds others make me until they burn me out completely.

Growing up, I had this idea of the kind of person I was supposed to be, where a woman fit in society, what a family should look like, and what love should feel like. But then of course, real life hit, and over the years I have learned that most of the things I thought I knew/wanted/believed in are not what I thought they were.

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What a great quote from Sophia Bush! How many major decisions in life have we all made based on our need to be enough for others? To our parents, siblings, friends, teachers, mentors, employees, and lovers/significant others?


And how’s that working out for us?

I do not have any regrets. I am actually grateful for everything I have been through or put myself through because all of those things have made me the woman I am today. So I am not interested in blaming my past decisions.

It’s 2020, I am 30 years old, turning 31 this year, a new decade is here — I am interested in changing the way I go about things from this point forward. Am I gonna hide my colors, quirkiness, flaws (or to put it nicely, areas of improvement), and tendencies so I can fit in? Or do I want to finally embrace who I am and explore what that’s like?



I realize that allowing myself to grow means trusting my own voice and standing up for myself. It also means letting go of relationship dynamics and thought patterns that make me question my own value.

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I have spent years wrestling with the idea of love, what it means, and why can’t most people get it right (myself included).

Now I am beginning to realize that it starts with loving myself — a woman made in God’s image, full of wonder, worth, love, and bursting with colors.

This epiphany has lead me into making my latest short film,, She was a Rainbow.

I hope you have the courage to look into yourself and love what you find there. I hope you are bold enough to be still and allow your inner voice to speak louder. And I invite you to join me on this journey to becoming who we were created to be.

I’ll leave you with these 4 quotes you should definitely live by.

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Oh and btw, this is how I’d like to dress everyday lol. #MOOD

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