Church in The Wild

What do you do to celebrate the end of the most life-changing year of your adult life?

Do you go out to eat at a Michelin starred restaurant?


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Do you go shopping and get yourself something nice?

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Do you travel to a city you’ve always wanted to visit?


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Do you spend time with your girlfriend and have heart-to-heart convos?


Maybe over some prosecco + Nasi Padang, too?


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THE ANSWER IS YESSSS…YES TO ALL OF THE ABOVE!


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As the last hurrah before officially saying goodbye to 2020, I decided to take a 4-day trip to DC to meet up with my friend Wina last weekend.

And as I was strolling around the nation’s capital, I couldn’t help but reminisce on where I was exactly a year ago.


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I was in such a different headspace this time last year; disconnected, trapped, depressed, and numb. It really felt like there was no way out. And instead of looking for help to sort things out in a healthy way, I took matters into my own hands and got into old patterns.


“It’s nice to feel something again,” I thought.  - ‘cause something is better than nothing right?
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“It’s nice to feel something again,” I thought.

‘cause something is better than nothing right?

Not always.

Anything done, fabricated, and savored without integrity, consciousness, and purpose usually leaves you feeling empty no matter how good you are at justifying it.

But here I am a year later…Healing and recovering from everything.

I can’t say it’s all been smooth sailing, but y’all…I can’t believe that I am where I am today!


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God has been getting me through life in ways that only He could come up with. If you don’t have a relationship with your Maker, I pray that you’d dig deeper this coming year and discover the beauty in being rooted to Love itself.

Thinking about this time last year still makes me cringe and even cry sometimes, but the pain gets duller each day and the feelings associated with that season of my life are no longer there.

And for that I am grateful.

A new beginning is on the horizon. This sacred, terrifying, beautiful, and breathtaking wilderness I am about to walk in — I can hear it calling and it’s telling me that I belong.


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Just like this old church building, I have always known that my life story is built on the structure and foundation of faith.

It is not the kind you’re used to; pristine, clean, and serene.

It’s bursting with colors, shapes, and splatters. Both intended and unintended.

It’s both rugged and glorious,

odd and familiar,

startling and inviting,

a church in the wild.

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I’ll leave you with this quote by one of my favorite human beings, Brené Brown:

“There will be times when standing alone feels too hard, too scary, and we’ll doubt our ability to make our way through the uncertainty. Someone, somewhere, will say, ‘Don’t do it. You don’t have what it takes to survive the wilderness.’ This is when you reach deep into your wild heart and remind yourself, ‘I am the wilderness.’”

Soldier on, wild ones.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

-Deb

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