On. Board.

Two weeks into 2021 and I’m already wiping the tears off my eyes for the third time.

I really wanted to blame it on my PMDD, because I do get overwhelmingly sad around “that time of the month” sometimes.

But nope, I’m pretty sure hormonal changes had very little to do with these tears.

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You know what DOES have a lot to do with my recent sadness, though?

My need of having everyone I care about see things the way I see them, and cheer me on for/despite my decisions, no matter what they are.

Do I know that this is a fear-based need that is impossible to meet?

ABOSOLUTELY.

Do I carry this need around anyway?

NO DOUBT!


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Why?

Why do I need people to be on board with what I do with my life?

The truth is, owning my voice isn’t something that comes easy for me. So I constantly need others’ validation!

This path to healing and Godly self-discovery is getting lonelier by the minute. And I need all the support I could get!

Unfortunately, unconditional love and grace aren’t something we humans give easily. Especially when we feel like something/someone we care about is at stake in the particular situation.

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And then, as the fear takes over, we no longer can operate based on love.

So we start to judge others, attack them, and disregard all of their good qualities or positive intent all together!


by arash payamby arash payam

by arash payam

I’ve learned from the Effective Communications class I’ve been taking since November that some of the fastest ways for you to make other people feel unsafe connecting with you are by judging them, telling them what to do, and trying to fix them.

They never work! Not in parenting, marriage, work, or anywhere else!

We humans clam up when people come at us with attempts to fix us!

But again, unfortunately, that is probably one of the most common responses people have, whenever they’re dealing with somebody they actually care about!

And that breaks my heart.

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So, what do I do now? Play victim all day and condemn others for being human, not seeing my point of view and not accepting me fully?

If yes, will that get me anywhere?


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Amen.

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